i don't wanna let you go til you see the light

tootles

to you..i’ve given it a chance or ten but i’m bored with your life for you. you complain about not having an invitation to our lives but when you do, you’re too lethargic. it’s annoying and i need to say that. that you’re moving 90 miles per hour and nobody really believes it except for you.i think you need to rethink some things and try to be the person you used to.now you’re just someone i wouldnt and don’t like to be around.i don’t mean to be so harsh but i can’t bite my tongue.i can’t hold my words and tap dance around you’re feelings things change ,yes THEY HAVE TO! and we will keep living.i wanna dance , i wanna screamm from the top of my lungs how much i wanna shake the hell out of you and tell you you’re wrong and get you to see it.whywhwyhywhwywhy don’t you get it fooolish foolish soul.needy so easily satiable soul.learn LEARN LEARN OPEN YOUR EYES SEE THE LIGHT,

anyway,enough,cas and i looked at scary spiders all day yesterday, and we drank coffee and he listened to my babbleon about comlumbian pale faced vampires that hopefully just arent cokewhores undercover.i love the way he laughs at my rediculousness it takes awesomeness to deal with my shenanigans.i’m happy with this part of my life.it’s really good and i dont remember the last time i could honestly say that<33

talking about that lil lady

how do you describe something so perfect.

from the most amazing radio station known to man.to the fornication of a gigantic paul bunyon.trailer of terror and dino-saur land.screaming ello and rolling uphill.barging in on the boys and getting the party started.boat rides .leighanne the lake monster.marsh bottoms and seaweed toes.drankin all day..swimmin at night.laughing at everything and loving every second.stealing kisses from my favorite boy and spilling half of every beer.getting welts from twizzler whips andhiding them in the rice krispie box.matching hello kitty pajamas floating in the deeep depths of the lake so late at night with the cabana boys haha.SHES A LADY WHOA WHOA WHOAAA SHES A LARRY.

i love life i love my friends i love summer o9 i love being nineteen.

oh swell summer

things have beenso fantastic.

i have the best family of friends.

i love seeing my best friend happy, i love flying down the huge hills @ cedar point scared to death and plummeting to safety.

i love how my hair has been perfectly curly every humid day.there is absolutely no feeling like submitting your first rental application.it’s so hott today the kind of hott where i feel like the air has its hands wrapped around my throaat but i’m not complaining because it’s made for the best thunderstorms.jamies bringing someone new into my life it’s so refreshing to meet someone so neat.i’ve gulped down about three water bottles already today.i love the days when i feel like a million and one bucks.i think i’m getting better looking with age. but not when i’m so tired all the time like i have been…but no matter how exhausted and red my eyeballs are,i’m living this summer. really living. up until the sun comes up and back up an hour later.no sleep but lots of love.

have faith in me there are things i’ve seen i don’t believe

i’m almost done painting the trim in my rooom.

‘i hope my car is finnally fixeddd..brand new cars shouldnt break down !

saturdays tmmw:::::: yikes busyy

salsaritas customer appreciation day 12:30! roberts company pic nac,11:00? kaylaas baby showerrr!?

busy!!!! my heads running in circles.

theres a loft for rent right down the street

me and melv are gonna calll about it.

how awesome.

everyones out drinking and portyinnn tonight cept me and melv. and were not the least bit sad aboot it.

theres a bunch of fragements im typing onto this post but thats okay,

Today i woke up in a dream, then i woke up again to reality.

i did a bunch of driving today back n forth,back n forth,blahh de dlah.

i put my ipod on shuffle and hid it under the seat so i wouldnt distract myself or change the song.as the sun was settting i started to feel incredible.

and i realized the doing all the good-person-things i’ve been doing lately is paying off , i’m starting to feel human and beautiful. i’m starting to feel like i have patience ,not enough yet to deal with complete ignorance but patience enough to be able to simply not be so mean.

i know the people i’ve hurt along the way ,well they will be okay and if they look at it from my positive point of view , i technically only made them stronger i should realize that not everyones heart is made of adamantium like mine.

i think this epiphany of sorts came from the other night i was drunk and telling melv i didnt like her new guypal because i didnt think he was good enough and she got offended and said i should just be happy for her and i was acting like MY MOTHER which an understatement would be the most greedy,selfish,stuckup bitch you’ll ever encounter and i ignorantly said i “never will be happy for you dating someone” but what i meant was i will be happy for my best friend when she shares interests with someone worth it.  but now after an 342mile car ride and paddle boating adventure her guy robroy is a pretty good dude.

but when she told me that i realized i needed to try harder even harder to be a nice person. i need to stop expecting the world to change.people to stop lying.people to learn how to drive.people not to be ugly,loudmouthed,ignorant,greedy,i shouldnt judge when people are being people they arent because really no matter how young,naieve, and impressionable you are we are all trying to find ourselves and i need to stop letting people annoy me.

i need to be nice and see the beauty even in the ugliest people(inside and out) because if i don’t i will just add to the negative energy in my life .

being a person ,a person that you like yourself is beautiful