Today i woke up in a dream, then i woke up again to reality.
i did a bunch of driving today back n forth,back n forth,blahh de dlah.
i put my ipod on shuffle and hid it under the seat so i wouldnt distract myself or change the song.as the sun was settting i started to feel incredible.
and i realized the doing all the good-person-things i’ve been doing lately is paying off , i’m starting to feel human and beautiful. i’m starting to feel like i have patience ,not enough yet to deal with complete ignorance but patience enough to be able to simply not be so mean.
i know the people i’ve hurt along the way ,well they will be okay and if they look at it from my positive point of view , i technically only made them stronger i should realize that not everyones heart is made of adamantium like mine.
i think this epiphany of sorts came from the other night i was drunk and telling melv i didnt like her new guypal because i didnt think he was good enough and she got offended and said i should just be happy for her and i was acting like MY MOTHER which an understatement would be the most greedy,selfish,stuckup bitch you’ll ever encounter and i ignorantly said i “never will be happy for you dating someone” but what i meant was i will be happy for my best friend when she shares interests with someone worth it. but now after an 342mile car ride and paddle boating adventure her guy robroy is a pretty good dude.
but when she told me that i realized i needed to try harder even harder to be a nice person. i need to stop expecting the world to change.people to stop lying.people to learn how to drive.people not to be ugly,loudmouthed,ignorant,greedy,i shouldnt judge when people are being people they arent because really no matter how young,naieve, and impressionable you are we are all trying to find ourselves and i need to stop letting people annoy me.
i need to be nice and see the beauty even in the ugliest people(inside and out) because if i don’t i will just add to the negative energy in my life .
being a person ,a person that you like yourself is beautiful
